New "Dark" theme created! Browse at night with ease!
Juan Handed Chef declares self "awesome".
Juan Handed Chef becomes a Dumb Turtle. We conglagurate him with this fine achievment in his stupid exsistance.
Juan Handed Chef today said, "I want to be little girl." More at seven.
Juan Handed Chef found the end of the internet today. There was nothing there besides a 404 ERROR... More at eight...
Local man ruins everything
Super-villain seizes Finland. Cybernetic Juan Handed Chef says he doesn't even know Finnish.
KILL ALL HUMENS
"Don't use Internet Explorer you fucking retard" -Abraham Lincoln
President Obama re-elected! -Slowpoke
Shrieking White Hot Sphere of Rage nominated for 2016 election. Other News later
Dream Works Studios picks up trend of "Sharknado" with their latest project, Shreknado, "The Shrekoning"...
IT'S HAPPENING!!!!!!!!
Minecraft 2 is released. Notch giggles to himself in his mountain of money
Valve set to release Half-Life 3 on Feb 29, 2015
Scientists baffled by man's incredible ability to fuck up everytime
"Order Up"- Juan Handed Chef, is added as a term in the 2015 Webster's New Dictionary, and is nominated for, "Quote of the Century"
Drake Bell six-hundred thousand dollaronees in debt
Mitt Romney recognized as Eternal President by supreme being Massachusemass. Everyone drink their mandatory chocolate milk at exactly seven
Diamond HDMI Cable performs miracles in an Amazon warehouse. Local employees build it an altar and swear to slay the infidels
wow new newsfeed
Google set to conquer world in two days. "Why didn't you listen," asked Bing CEO.
The World's Youngest person was born today
Apple files for bankruptcy after iPhad 8 proves to be a failure
RIP in Peace SonicIsNumberOne

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